When Love Goes Wrong, Cheating Arises
Love is only possible when a certain degree of individual development and self confidence has been built. This is as a result of a psychological evolution that is achieved when one has learned to respect oneself and to love oneself. Falling in love occurs when we believe we have found our ideal someone, who completes and satisfies us. But, behind that quest for perfection lies a demand for the other, fear of unbearable disappointment and cheating when the relationship does not meet our expectations.
Cheating Is More Than A Betrayal
Over the last years, cheating has increased and this has been a major factor of relationships ending. However, most people in relationships don’t know if they can trust their partners’ loyalty. This has raised many advice articles and more on how to know when a partner is cheating or articles outlining steps to get your ex back.[2] One question that usually bothers those who are not able to get back on their feet after a cheating experience, is the question if love makes us wiser or rather reveals the real nature of our partners. A good relationship is not based on waiting for our imaginary partner to become real, nor on asking the real partner to match our defined requirements. Cheating usually begins with a long series of grievances over respect, differences and submission. Most people see cheating as a weakness or an ego booster. I will seek to reveal the intent behind cheating from the perspective of men and woman respectively, the triggers, signals which should not be confused with cheating, and more.
What Surveys Tell Us About Signs That Someone Is Cheating
Different behaviors and attitudes can be classified as cheating.[3] Basically, most people consider sex and other intimate physical contact to be cheating. But a distinction must be made to reveal that men usually define it physically while women define it emotionally. A 2013 journal by the University of Michigan[4] asked 456 undergraduates to rate 27 different behaviors (sexual, erotic, and more) on a scale of 1-100, showing how strongly they are considered to be cheating. The higher the number the more clearly it was cheating for the participants. Below are some of the results.
Accompanying to a formal event—43.3 Going out to dinner—41.4 Oral sex—96.8 Taking a shower together—96.2 Kissing on the lips—88.7 Kissing on the cheek—36.9 Forming a deep emotional bond—52.4 Spending lots of time together—52.2 Sitting in the other person’s lap—52.2 10. Sharing secrets—36.5 11. Supporting the other person financially—35.8 12. Talking on the phone several times a week—40.1
Other attitudes considered as cheating could be:
Become best friends with someone of the opposite sex. Developping a crush for another individual. Sharing your most private thoughts and feelings with someone else. Masturbating. Wearing revealing clothes. Watching Porn. Hugging the opposite sex. Been Cordial With the Opposite Gender.
What Cheating Tells Us About Our Relationship
Everyones desires to have a relationship that will stand the test of time, but most of the times our expectations are caught short. Here are some things cheating implies [5] .
Lack of Acknowledgement
Men and women differ in the way they love, but no matter the gender cheating usually sets in when you refuse to love and aknowledge your partner.
Sudden Changes
Most people do not realize that changes are healthy, which is why they create tensions. If you realize that you often have mood swings, it is better to let your partner know, because if not, your partner may be shocked by your changed personality and cheat.
Lack of Respect
Love grows when the other person’s freedom is respected. Most times cheating comes into play when you fail to respect your partner.
Lovers Can’t Be Rigid And Stubborn
Cheating[6] signs are visible when a partner is not satisfied. However in a relationship, you must be flexible and accommodate your partner. Honesty will go a long way in all relationship to curb factors triggering cheating. Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io
