My dad, my brother, my boyfriend, my ex, many of my friends, and more than half of my coaching clients: all engineers. You are a fascinating and lovable bunch. Through the abundance of engineers in my life, I’ve come to understand you and appreciate you in a special way as a group. Here are 12 things I’ve found to be refreshingly true about you:
1. You diligently consider all angles before making up your mind.
You take great pains in being as objective as possible. You may even host debates in your head. My boyfriend does this. He constructs arguments with different imaginary figures in his mind, arguing each viewpoint fairly until a sound, objective conclusion is reached.
2. You are whimsical.
You are fun. You see things in an ironic, fun, and funny way. You enjoy xkcd.com and the like. My college days (surrounded by engineers, for sure) were sprinkled with ninjas vs. pirates vs. zombies debates. This is the “logical” whimsy that is so endearing and playful. Your particular kind of creativity isn’t found in other people in the same fun way. It’s a delight!
3. You methodically think through all the ways something could go wrong.
This may seem like a drag, but it’s actually really helpful. This means you’ve always got (or are at least actively formulating) a back-up plan. You’re practical. Risk-averse, perhaps, but thorough. This helps you make quality decisions because you have thought before implementing, saving yourself a pile (or several piles) of unnecessary life clean-up. :)
4. You are thoughtful and empathetic.
Your thoughtfulness doesn’t only get channelled to math and science. You are also especially thoughtful when it comes to your relationships with people who are important to you, and even people you’ve just met. You are hyper-aware of several viable (and non-viable, but interesting) possibilities that might be occurring in other people’s experiences. Because of your constant and diligent thoughtfulness, you’re more empathetic than you might give yourself credit for.
5. You are genuinely curious.
Because you understand and appreciate the world (and the universe!) in its infinite complexity, you are curious about how things work, fit together, can be improved upon. This childlike fascination carries into adulthood and is what makes you so wonderful at your career and such a delight to have a conversation with.
6. You are naturally playful in relationships.
When you get to know and love people in your life, you find new ways to relate to them. New playful catchphrases, allusions and reinventions of past jokes, even funny physical movements or expressions. Because your mind is so creative and thoughtful, playful memes always feel fresh and personal.
7. You appreciate the beauty of systems.
You have long pondered the beauty of systems: nature, cities, technological inventions, any kind of infrastructure, really. You love structure, and you love the mathematical intricacy with which things work together. To you, the way you see these things is just a matter of fact. To others, your level of appreciation for systematic beauty is awe-inspiring.
8. You find linear, logical paths to be relaxing.
You prefer the most direct path to your desired destination. When you have too many choices and emotions involved, this can be very confusing. That said, when you feel capable and confident and are in your healthy frame of mind, it is immensely satisfying to determine the most logical, linear path to get where you want to go and then set about taking that path. It relaxes you to do this.
9. You value play.
One of the core tenets of genuine confidence, and a centerpiece of my own coaching method, is the foundational exercise of defining your deepest values. Most of my clients are engineers and–get this–most of these engineers list PLAY or FUN as one of their top five values. I told my friend this, and she was surprised. That just wasn’t part of her concept of engineers, but I told her how true and delightful it is. Perhaps that’s because usually your playfulness comes out more within close relationships. Also, a lot of your playfulness is internal. The way you think about things and interpret the world is playfully curious, and that might not always be expressed. That said, it’s often really fun for engineers to find new ways that feel natural and fun for expressing their playfulness and relating to people on that lighthearted level.
10. You are relentlessly self-aware.
Because your mind works in such a wonderfully structured and thorough way, you are constantly self-assessing. You are your greatest puzzle: your own mind, your own behaviors. When you’re feeling confident and capable, this is really fun! You enjoy the process of analyzing yourself and watching the progress flow once you actually know what to do. That’s the key: knowing what the hell to do! Once you have that, you’re off to the races.
11. You entertain multiple working philosophical and sociological theories.
Because of your curiosity, thoroughness, and patience, you entertain many working theories on various structures in life: from the sociological (how should we be dealing with X?) to the cosmological (where do black holes lead?). You may go back and refine any one of your working theories for years, like an artist returning to his sculpture, scraping away what doesn’t belong and perfecting what does.
12. You are quite romantic.
In fact, you are arguably the ideal romantic partner. You know why? Because you are so earnest, and you want to CHOOSE your partner. You have ideals for a relationship, the way you want it to feel and operate, and you know you won’t be happy with anything else. Therefore, badass that you are, you go about learning the skills you need to naturally attract and keep the kind of partner you want in your life. Because you generally prefer depth to breadth, you are extraordinary at focusing in on a relationship and making it hum. In my experience–in my personal love life and in my dating/attraction coaching–engineers make the best life partners. Your attention to detail, your care and thoughtfulness, your courageous and relentless focus–they all work together to make you AWESOME.
